Title: Time Out vs. Calming Corner: Embracing a Better Approach for Our Kids
“Sending a child to “time out” to teach them right from wrong with no direction and no way of teaching them to manage those big emotions or behaviors is setting them up for failure. Isolation is not the answer and only serves to further disconnect them from society and us as providers.” Casandra Lea, · Home Daycare Provider Support Group (Facebook)
Introduction:
In the world of child behavior management, the techniques we use can have a profound impact on a child's emotional and social development. Two popular strategies are the "Time Out" practice and the "Calming Corner." or "Calm Down Corner". While both aim to address disruptive behavior, they do so in very different ways.
Some people believe that Calming Corners reward misbehavior by allowing kids to "play" rather than face consequences. They prefer the old "Time Out" method, where children sit facing the wall in silence, a technique they've used for years and see no reason to change. However, it's essential to understand that each method has its unique purpose and effects on children.
In this blog post, we'll explore what each practice entails, weigh their pros and cons, and dive into some real scientific research to see why Calming Corners might be the better option. Plus, we'll provide practical tips for setting up a Calming Corner at home or in the classroom.
What is Time Out?
"Time Out" is a strategy that involves removing a child from a stimulating environment and placing them in a quiet, isolated spot for a short period. The idea is to give the child time to reflect on their behavior and understand that their actions have consequences. This method aims to reduce undesirable behavior by making the child associate it with the discomfort of isolation.
Pros :
Immediate Consequence: Time Out provides a quick response to inappropriate behavior, helping children understand the link between actions and consequences.
Simple to Implement: It's straightforward and doesn't require a lot of resources or preparation.
Clear Boundaries: Time Out sets clear rules and consequences, which can help children learn limits.
Cons:
Emotional Impact: It can make children feel isolated, ashamed, and distressed, which might hurt their emotional well-being.
Limited Learning: It doesn't teach children how to manage their emotions or what appropriate behavior looks like.
Negative Reinforcement: Over-reliance on Time Out can lead to power struggles and increased defiance.
Scientific Insights
Research shows mixed results on the effectiveness of Time Out. While it can reduce immediate disruptive behavior, its long-term impact on emotional health and self-regulation is less clear. A study in Pediatrics found that excessive use of Time Out can lead to increased aggression and anxiety in children.
What is a Calming Corner?
A "Calming Corner" is a special place where children can go to self-regulate their emotions and behaviors. It's filled with tools and activities designed to help them calm down, reflect, and regain control. The goal isn't punishment but rather teaching children self-regulation skills and providing a supportive environment for processing their feelings.
Pros :
Emotional Support: Calming Corners offer a safe space for children to manage their emotions without feeling punished.
Skill Development: They help children learn self-regulation techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, and positive self-talk.
Positive Reinforcement: Encourages a supportive approach to behavior management, fostering a more positive relationship between children and adults.
Cons:
Initial Setup: Requires time and resources to set up a well-equipped space.
Training Needed: Adults may need training on how to effectively implement and use a Calming Corner.
Cost of Materials: Purchasing the necessary items for a Calming Corner can be expensive, especially if high-quality or specialized materials are chosen.
Scientific Insights
Studies show that supportive environments like Calming Corners can significantly improve children's emotional regulation and reduce behavioral issues. Research from the Journal of School Psychology indicates that children who regularly use self-regulation strategies in Calming Corners show lower levels of stress and better academic performance.
My Perspective
Both Time Out and Calming Corners have their places in behavior management, but the latter offers a more supportive and educational approach. In my opinion, children respond more readily to the Calming Corner strategy because it offers an opportunity to work through those big emotions that are often overwhelming. By focusing on emotional regulation and providing a safe space for children to process their feelings, Calming Corners help build essential life skills that foster long-term emotional health and resilience. Sending or offering a child the opportunity to visit the Calming Corner does not negate a consequence for negative behavior but allows them to understand how to handle and control their behavior and even to better understand why a consequence is needed and appropriate. For parents and teachers looking to make the switch, setting up a Calming Corner can be a transformative step toward more compassionate and effective child guidance.
How to Set Up a Calming Corner
Essential Items
Comfortable Seating: Bean bags, cushions, or a small chair.
Why: Providing a cozy and inviting spot helps children feel safe and secure, which is essential for calming down and feeling comfortable enough to process their emotions.
Sensory Tools: Stress balls, fidget spinners, or textured objects.
Why: These items can help children focus their energy and calm their nervous system. The tactile stimulation can be very soothing for children who are feeling anxious or upset.
Calm-Down Jars: Jars filled with water and glitter that children can shake and watch settle.
Why: Watching the glitter settle can be mesmerizing and provide a visual representation of calming down. It helps children to slow their breathing and regain control of their emotions.
Breathing Exercises: Visual aids or apps that guide deep breathing exercises.
Why: Deep breathing is a powerful tool for reducing stress and anxiety. Having visual or digital aids can guide children through the process, making it easier for them to learn and practice this skill.
Books: Picture books about emotions and mindfulness.
Why: Reading about emotions and mindfulness helps children understand and articulate their own feelings. It also provides them with strategies for managing those emotions.
Noise-Canceling Headphones: To block out external noise and help children focus inward.
Why: Reducing external stimuli can help children focus on calming down and prevent sensory overload. This is especially beneficial in noisy environments.
Steps to Implement
Choose a Quiet Space: Select a corner of the room that's away from high-traffic areas and distractions.
Decorate Thoughtfully: Use soothing colors and decorations to create a calm atmosphere.
Introduce the Corner: Explain the purpose of the Calming Corner to your child and demonstrate how to use the tools and activities available.
Model Usage: Show your child how to use the Calming Corner by modeling calming techniques and positive self-talk.
Encourage Use: Gently encourage your child to use the Calming Corner when they feel overwhelmed, and praise them for doing so.
References
"The Long-term Effects of Time-out on Children's Behavior: A Meta-Analysis," Pediatrics.
"Self-Regulation Strategies in Early Childhood: The Role of Calming Corners," Journal of School Psychology.
"The Impact of Supportive Environments on Child Development," Journal of Educational Research.
